Posts Tagged ‘paris hilton’

“Why Can’t I Suck A Cock In Space?” Demands Paris

May 26, 2008

Miss Hilton shows off her tits prior to sucking a cock, yesterday

Jizz-spattered celebrity fuckportal, Paris Hilton (50), has hit back at NASA for their refusal to take her and her lover – Big John McLaughlin – up into space so she can suck his cock … in space.

“I’ve sucked ’em in a bedroom, and I’ve sucked ’em in a barn,” a naked Paris told BC&B as she sat in a bath of jism, “and I’ve sucked ’em on top of the Empire State Building. I was the last woman to suck a cock in Windows On The World – the restaurant at the top of the World Trade Center – and I was the first woman to suck a cock in the Millennium Dome. Now Big John McLaughlin wants to get that cock of his in my mouth in space. And I want to let him … IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!” she thundered.

But NASA’s head of Sex/Space Research, Tony Tappfalladers, told BC&B he wasn’t happy about the talentless airheaded heiress’s attempts to go suckin’ the bone in space.

“I don’t want her up there,” he said, eating some soup. “She’ll interfere with the instruments, Big John’s arse will nudge astronauts as they try flying to Jupiter, and there’ll be all jism up the pipes and in the speedometer. We at NASA can’t have that.”

Now Paris has vowed to take NASA to court in an attempt to legally enforce them to let her chow down on Big John’s horse-like meat hammer.

“I’ll force ’em to let me suck that cock in space,” she told us, as she painted the word ‘TWIT’ on her outer labia.

The case continues.