Posts Tagged ‘naomi campbell’

Violent Celebrity News

May 29, 2008

Miss Campbell models the new \'Tits Almost Out\' range by Vespasian Wheeliebinerotti

Shitwit model Naomi Campbell has been formally charged with the alleged murder of a Heathrow Airport policeman, BC&B has learnt from reading someone else’s flaff website a couple of minutes ago.

Campbell (73) allegedly killed the policeman in 2006 when he dared to look the millionairess supermodel retard clothes horse directly in the eye.

“NOBODY looks me in the eye!” screamed Campbell allegedly, before plunging the fabled Dagger of Minirrak-Ra into the screaming bobby’s heart, allegedly, the court was told. She then allegedly stormed off to have a tantrum near a man selling some pens.

If Miss Campbell is found guilty, the court is likely to pass a sentence of death. Rumours suggest the method of execution will involve shoving every single copy of Campbell’s appalling ‘novel’ Swan up her arse. When they’re all up there, the bad-tempered supermodel will be chained to a rock and fed to a kraken.

The case continues.