Posts Tagged ‘insanity’

Pumpstangel’s Weekly Celebrity Flaff Round-Up

May 28, 2008

Pumpstangel sees ALL

Each week, BC&B’s outrageous gay Celebrity-Breaker, Seamus Pumpstangel, casts his beady eye over the world of celebrity, then licks its tits with his acid tongue. Then writes about it.

BEYONCE BITES OFF MORE COCK THAN SHE CAN CHEW

Beyonce showing off her ass to tramps

That whore Beyonce Knowles is doing the dirrrrty behind bodybuilder boyfriend Pump Thruster’s back! Knowles (40) was caught giving a blowjob to a tramp in a skip outside Hollywood’s fashionable Hollmullond Rodeoway Burger King. “I just love giving head to the homeless!” Beyonce purred!

Pumpstangel’s verdict – You big-assed, tramp cock suckin’ BITCH!

FRUIT-LOOP CONNOLLY FUCKED BY ICE-MEN

Jennifer Connolly shows off her insane backside

Fears grow for the sanity of that bitch, Jennifer Connolly. A girlfriend tells me she was seen walking up New York’s famous Broadgate & Tenth in carpet slippers with a cat up her ass! Passersby say Connolly looked confused, and had to be led into a nearby ice hockey rink … where she was sexually assaulted by the New York Shits reserve squad!

Pumpsatgel’s verdict – You head-handicapped, cat-up-yer-ass, raped by a hockey team BITCH!

FAT ZELLWEGER SHOWS OFF FAT BODY AT FUNERAL

Zellweger shows how fat she is now at a friend\'s funeral

My celebrity photographer boyfriend, Hans Von Scumschtuffel, took this shot at the funeral of a close friend of Hollywood A-Lister, Rene Zellweger. Eagle-eyed flaff-spotters can clearly see the bitch has put on over an ounce in weight since her last role in Brad Funkuncle’s action movie, Pissstinger Nazi Bitches Eat Las Vegas. Friends close to the bloated star say she is going to try the Hollywood Skin-Flaying Diet in a last ditch attempt to lose that ounce.

Pumpstangel’s verdict – I wouldn’t bother, Rene, you fat, has-been, balloon-faced, dead friend-mourning BITCH!

More catty gay celebrity gossip next week. Keep pumpin’ – keep Pumpstangel.