Posts Tagged ‘gay’

“I Only Licked The Shaft,” Denies Apprentice Has-Been Raef Underpants

May 26, 2008

Raef appears on TV to deny \'Greek\' rumours

Our ruthless gay Celebrity-Breaker, Seamus Pumpstangel, has erupted a furious war of words with former Apprentice boy/man, Raef Underpants. Underpants (60) was accused of using his mouth on the flange of fellow Apprenticee, Michael Gelps-Aristophenes’s man-hammer.

“I didn’t,” lied wordsmith Raef, when BC&B caught up with him in a San Francisco bath house full of nude men dressed as Roman soldiers. “It was a terrible misunderstanding. I was looking for a copy of the Radio Times in Michael’s thong, when I slipped and didn’t lick the underside of his flange.”

But acid-tongued Pumpstangel laughed at Raef’s denial.

“Oh, this is such bullshit, darling! Everyone in that god-damned house knows Raef ran his tongue along that shaft. Even Lee, who is mentally retarded, managed to tape it on his mobile phone! I give Raef Underpants the Seamus Pumpstangel Secret Gay Pant-Pumpstangel Award of the Week Award!”