Posts Tagged ‘avril lavigne’

Urban Boob Blow For Songstress

June 12, 2008

Avril Lavigne shows her infected tits off in a walk-in fridge, yesterday

Avril Lavigne has announced her retirement from pop music after a scan revealed her tits are turning into cities. Her agent, Hoivy Wienenbleimenblum, told BC&B:

“Avril has no other option but to call it a day after her doctor told her she’s suffering from Mammurban Necrotic Fasciitis. It’s a disease that only affects Canadian celebrity singers and is fatal, I’m afraid. It’s a terrible shame really – as Avril’s agent, I’d very much hoped to get my hands on those tits before she hit 25.”

Mammurban Necrotic Fasciitis is a disease that slowly turns the tits into exact copies of Barcelona and Rio De Janeiro. The infected tits can be sensitive to light, touch, heat and earthquakes, and can grow quickly out of control unless regular demolition takes place.

There is no known cure for Mammurban Necrotic Fasciitis. Sufferers usually collapse under the weight of their own tits before being buried beneath an ever-growing network of sewage pipes, ultility lines, and underground railway systems.