Posts Tagged ‘any old iron’

The Apprentice – The Final Five

May 28, 2008

Over the next five days, BC&B takes a look at the five remaining candidates in this year’s series of The Apprentice.

Lee McQueen

Lee McQueen tends to the \'orse along with his unpleasant father, Albert

Former wrag and bone man Lee wants to see shadows disappear from the earth. Lee (who is mentally-retarded) became concerned by shadows when a friend took advantage of his gullibility by telling him shadows are the future ghosts of the person they follow.

“I don’t want to be followed awround by a ghost of myself. It’s dead spooky, and vere’s always ver possibiwitty vat vey might suck out your bones an’ vat. It’d be best if ve Pwime Minister got wrid of shadow ghosts for good … ven Lee McQueen could sleep wivvout the light on.”

Lee is unlucky in love. To date, he’s had over eighty first dates – each one ruined when he took the girl home to meet his father, only to find him naked in a tin bath in the front room, eating pickled onions.

LEE MCQUEEN FACT-FILE

Loves
Rags
Bones
Old Iron

Hates
His father

Marital Status
Constantly thwarted by unpleasant paternal bathing activities

Ambitions
To leave home

Verdict
MENTAL RETARD

Tomorrow: The ugly Helene Knickers